By now you should know for yourself that the widest gap in life or in the world is between knowing and doing. If we all put into practice every right thing we knew, our lives would be remarkably different, incredibly successful. Here’s why we don’t and what to do about it, especially in this season of ‘new year resolutions.’
What do a Microbiology PhD, Obstetrician, Civil & Environmental Engineer, Hotel HR Manager in Ghana, Marketing Executive at Ogilvy, Dentist in the United States, Consultant at Accenture, CEO of a Savings & Loans scheme in Uganda and a U.S. military personnel stationed in Italy have in common? And on top of all that, situated in three different continents on the surface not much; except these were all in the same room at the start of 2021 with one desire and purpose: to grow.
There’s no gainsaying that the dozen people constituting the first 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth mastermind group with YAW PERBI in 2021 know a lot. The combined expertise in the room is astounding; it is an honour just to be seated at the table with a leader with 18 years experience at Ghana’s Food & Drugs Authority and the rest of the crew.
We had all chosen to invest the time and money to be part of this mastermind because as Maxwell’s first Law of Growth makes plain, what he calls The Law of Intentionality, “Growth Doesn’t Just Happen.” In fact, “growth is [about] the only guarantee that tomorrow is going to get better”; that 2021 will be better than 2020. Although all these amazing professionals had a hint of this fundamental law of the universe, hence signing onto the mastermind group in the first place, by the end of the first 90-minute session this was so abundantly clear and weighing on us that my personal ‘statement of the day’ came from the FDA leader: “Growth is hard work.” Yes it is! And I’m so proud of these folks who are making an intentional, informed, sustained choice to grow themselves into success and significance!
SECRET TO CLOSING THE GAP
Perhaps no generation knows more, or at least has access to more knowledge in all sorts of media, than this current one. Yet by now you should know for yourself that the widest gap in life or in the world is between knowing and doing. If we all put into practice every right thing we knew, our lives would be remarkably different, incredibly successful. Richard Biggs says “the greatest gap in life is the one between knowing and doing,” a statement similar to John Maxwell’s, who puts it this way: “the greatest gap in the world is the gap between knowing and doing.”
While these already very knowledgeable folks will be even adding further to their professional knowledge vital new information about the Laws of Growth, what will catalyze and even guarantee their change and growth isn’t the HEAD stuff per se. Of course that’s where it begins but the problem is when it ends there, which is more often than note the case.
Considering the above Wendy Seidman simplification of Bloom’s famous taxonomy, the secret to the mastermind participants moving from abundant knowledge to abundant living by doing what they know they ought to do to grow will be as follows (this is the same for you if you intend to finally do something with all you already know you ought to do):
1. AWARE: This is a HEAD thing. Many of us begin from not even knowing what we don’t know, right? “Oh! So there are Laws?” ”Ei! And there are Growth Laws in particular?” right? How can people plan to do what they don’t even know in the first place?
2. PONDER: All of us are going to have ample time in between meetings to THINK about these laws but especially when we meet, as the facilitator I’ll be applying the major tool of a coach–questions, questions questions–to help clarify and deepen the pondering process. I say understanding is the product of pondering. Many times we don’t do because we don’t understand. But thus far, this is all still a HEAD thing.
3. VALUE: When folks actually begin to value that thing they’ve become aware of and have pondered, this is when things have travelled from the head down to the heart. It’s now a HEART thing. “Hmmmm… it must be important.” “Hmmm it may be a good thing oo…” A value is what you value, right?
I tell you, if “the greatest gap in the world is the gap between knowing and doing,” then the longest distance in the world might be between the head and the heart! Anatomically it’s only a few centimetres apart but metaphorically, that’s another matter. Yet it is necessary to value a thing, and feel it to move us to do anything. Do you see the word ‘motion’ in emotion?
Yet after our new awareness and pondering have dropped into the heart , there’s still a GAP—nothing changes in our action or behaviour, yet. It’s still not a HAND thing (action or behaviour) until usually with the help of accountable relationships (like coaches and mastermind compatriots) you gain the quantum energy to scale the action/behavioural gap to the land of re-prioritization. This is the longest and deepest gulf in the world, contributing the most to the gap between knowing and doing.
4. RE-PRIORITIZE: When you re-prioritize, you actually re-organize yourself, move others and things around you to make that new pondered and valued awareness actionable! Until you have re-prioritized, usually evident in the commitment of time, money (and other resources) and energy/effort, nothing changes.
5. OWN: I can give you an example of an area in which this entire process from awareness to ownership happened in my own life. It took me about six years to finally re-prioritize and start taking a proper weekly sabbath (not just a day off; to really stop all my work, rest, contemplate on God, delight in Him and his gifts). I can assure you that if I had a consistent, formal coach or mastermind group I was accountable to, it wouldn’t have taken me six years to make the quantum leap I needed to.
After seeing all these long distances and deep gulfs, can you understand why doing what we know is so hard. Come to think of it, who climbs the highest peaks in the world alone? You need a buddy if you’re to make it! That’s why this 15 Laws of Growth mastermind is a blessing! As co-travellers, we’ll all be AWARE of the same laws, PONDER these things (especially through the clarifying questions we’ll all be responding to), we will be expressing what we VALUE to each other’s hearing … and here’s the trick: we are there to encourage each other and hold each other accountable to make the leap to the other side of RE-PRIORITIZING and OWNING our growth and success.
Already, within the first 24 hours of the start of the mastermind, with everyone’s consent we formed a WhatsApp group through which we keep informing and reminding, pondering, valuing, and holding one another accountable to re-prioritize and own our growth journey to success over the next 60 days.
A sure way to close the widest gap in the world is accountable relationships to make the leap from merely valuing new knowing to re-prioritizing things in our lives towards new doing. So now you are aware why we generally don’t do what we know we should or even say we would–and what to do about it–especially in this season of ‘new year resolutions.’ Happy new year!
This is so counterintuitive that I don’t beat myself too much for almost completely missing it earlier in my life. I’m glad I have clinched that now: to grow an enterprise, grow people; to hit your goals focus on growing yourself and on the growth process.
Like most people I know, I love the word potential. Potential is the difference between who/where you are now and who/where you could be. Success, then, would be getting to who/where you could be. Being a go(al)-getter, one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in life has been to keep the target or goal so much in mind and trying to figure out various strategies and timelines to hit it but neglecting the most important thing and most important one: growth and me. John Maxwell puts it succinctly: “To reach your potential you must grow. And to grow, you must be highly intentional about it.”
No matter the systems and structures, tools and technologies, courses and cash one gathers to hit a goal, unless there is investment in the growth of the person(s) involved, the goal is unlikely to happen. To achieve a goal, invest in growth of those the fulfillment of the goal depends on. To grow an enterprise, grow people.
Try something else in the new year: keep the goal in mind but focus on you (or whoever it depends on) and focus on a growth process. Let’s see what happens. I take my mentor John’s counsel seriously: “If you focus on goals, you may hit the goals, but that doesn’t guarantee growth. If you focus on growth, you will grow and always hit growth.” This is how to win, 100% of the time!
Here’s a paragraph from John’s 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, which at the start of the new year I take a selected few through, that makes the point:
“If you want to discover your purpose, you need to grow in self-awareness. To become a better human being, you need to grow in character. To advance in your career, you need to grow in your skills. To be a better spouse or parent, you need to grow in relationships. To reach your financial goals, you need to grow in your knowledge about how money works. To enrich your soul, you need to grow spiritually.”
In similar fashion, as James Allen wrote in his classic As a Man Thinketh, “People are anxious to improve their circumstances but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.” Get it? To get your goal you’ve got to grow.
GO WITH ME
Now, assuming you’ve agreed with me that you’ve got to grow to succeed, then the next logical question (in all probability) is how do I grow?. Well, you need to know the principles (laws) governing growth and have a plan and process to grow. Key to this plan and process is, again, people.
They say “we become the combined average of the five people we hang around the most.” Take a quick inventory right now. Depending on who your average five turn out to be, you must be pretty excited or pretty disappointed right now.
Apart from becoming a growing person yourself (towards your goals), you also need growth people, to stimulate, guide and guard your growth. This may be in the form of an accountability friend, a supportive spouse, an executive coach, or a small group like a mastermind.
I like to say that where two or three come together ‘magic’ happens. It is true. No matter how brilliant the ideas I think I have are, somehow when I meet with a group of people to discuss it the final outcome is much much better than my best ideas. It goes without saying that all of us are better than any one of us, any day! That is what Napoleon Hill discovered (mentioned in his 1925 book) and called a” mastermind”–when two people come together they create a third, invisible mind which is greater than the sum of the other two.
So for ideation, encouragement and accountability, everyone needs someone to come alongside them in their growth journey towards goal-getting.
To goal or to grow? That is the question. This is so counterintuitive that I don’t beat myself too much for almost completely missing it earlier in my life. I’m glad I have clinched that now: to hit your goals focus on growing yourself and on the growth process. Even if you don’t hit your goal, you will hit your growth.
Be goal-bound (as in, headed towards your goal) not situation-bound (as in, stuck where you are) by being growth-bound (heading towards growth and sticking to growth). Set your goal alright but then focus on the growth it will take. To hit goals, focus on the person(s) involved and on the growth process. To get your goal you’ve got to grow. This is how to win 100% of the time!
If you want to see if there’s still room for you in the 2020 Growth Mastermind click here.
Yes it’s a free world and humans are at liberty to do pretty much whatever we like. Or… well… maybe that’s not entirely accurate. There are laws or principles that have been here before us which we defy to our own hurt, irrespective of how noble our intentions might be. For example, some people intend to succeed in life without first growing. Forget it. It’s a law.
OF BATTLESHIPS AND LIGHTHOUSES
My all-time favourite story to illustrate the fact that there are fixed laws that govern life in our universe and that they don’t (and won’t) change to suit us but rather we ought to alter our lives to conform to them is this one told by Frank Koch, an experienced man of the seas, in Proceedings:
Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell.
The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.”
“Is it steady or moving astern,” the captain called out.
Lookout replied, “Steady, captain,” which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship.
The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship. We are on a collision course, advise you change core 20 degrees.
Back came the signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.”
The captain said, “Send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees.”
“I’m a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.”
By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.”
Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse.” We changed course.
Just like the lighthouse, the laws/principles that run the universe are fixed and provide us a framework to live successful lives and irrespective of our perceptions, status in life, ambitions or raw muscle effort (like the battleship captain) they won’t, indeed they cannot, change course in our favour, we have to.
WHAT THESE LAWS ARE/AREN’T
Principles are fundamental, universal laws and timeless truths that govern everything in this universe. The thing is that the physical principles like the Law of Gravity are more easily appreciated than the ones our five senses can’t readily observe the consequences of. The laws of success, relationships, finances, spirituality etc. tend to be more difficult for us to wrap our heads and heart around. Even the Law of Sowing and Reaping (or Law of Cause and Effect), that whatever a person sows, that also will they reap, is very much appreciated when it comes to agriculture, yet somehow we miss it when it comes to the good/evil we do to others or even how this law plays out in our financial lives.
Yet these laws of life are “practical realities.” And the other thing is they’re not partial i.e. they are no respecter of age, gender, geography, religion etc. and they are not not values. Our values are what we value; what we consider good, and they had better be aligned to these universal laws we speak of, otherwise we would bear the negative consequences all the same. Stephen Covey puts it best:
All the wishing and even all the work in the world if it’s not used on valid principles, will not produce quality-of-life results. It’s not enough to set goals or climb ladders. It’s not enough to value. The effort has to be based on practical realities the produce result.
TO SUCCEED OR NOT TO SUCCEED
Success doesn’t just happen; it takes growth. Growth doesn’t just happen either; it takes intentionality (Law of Intentionality). I see a lot of hope for and talk about success, yet not so much about growth first, which then leads to success. That is a law of success, my friend, that one needs to grow into success. About a decade ago, I wanted to succeed in real estate investment yet I did not own a single property. In order to succeed I disinvested all the shares I owned on the Ghana Stock Exchange in order to invest in my growth in this area when Robert Kiyosaki’s team reached out with courses and one-on-one mentorship. If today, I ‘ve owned (and still do) several properties in three different countries, that small success did not come by chance. Not only did I have to grow, I had to sacrificially invest in my growth (the Law of Trade-Offs).
Knowing who/where you are now (Law of Awareness) is as important as knowing who/where you want to be (Law of Vision). I hear a lot of talk about self-actualization and not nearly as much about self-awareness; yet we might as well forget about self-actualization without self-awareness first.
So when I hear people say “my principles,” I get what they mean, but really the only thing we own is our values and choices. We get to make choices but the consequences of those choices are already predetermined by the timeless, fundamental laws of the universe. The principles that govern life and success are not ours; they are ‘YUGE’ and not subject to our whims and caprices.
It is always a gift when after years of research people are able to capture in a single sentence or mathematical formula one of the laws of the universe–whether it’s Newton (motion), Einstein (relativity) or Maxwell (growth). And even more special when a series of these laws are captured in a single book, like the Bible.
The 2021 cohort for the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth mastermind is almost full. Are there only 15 Invaluable Laws of Success? Probably not. There might be a few more. But the thing is that there’s no going past these 15 to succeed. There will be ‘mirrors’ at our growth table in January (to get self-aware). Then we can measure the gap between who/where we are now and who/where we want to be and chart an intentional plan to close the gap and succeed.
Come to the table. Join the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth January journey. Register now right here.
What do you think you’re capable of accomplishing within the next 12 months? What if I told you you could be more and do better than what you’re thinking through the sheer power a mastermind group?
SO WHAT ARE MASTERMINDS?
A mastermind group (often shortened to just ‘masterminds’) is a peer-to-peer mentoring group used to help members learn together, solve problems, birth new ideas and gain clarity with input and advice from the other group members. The concept was coined in 1925 by author Napoleon Hill in his book The Law of Success, and described in more detail in his 1937 book Think and Grow Rich. As iron sharpens iron, mastermind groups are great in holding each other accountable for the goals and outcomes each member comes up with themselves.
With time mastermind groups have also come to mean, as we say at the John Maxwell Team, “a gathering of like-minded people who desire to focus on and achieve their goals through the study of a specific set of information and or material usually from one specific book or author.”
THE MYSTERY OF MASTERMINDS
This is a mystery Napoleon Hill discovered but which I have experienced too, that when two people get together, they somehow create a third, invisible mind whose power is greater than the sum of the first two minds—a MASTERMIND. Where two or more come together, ‘magic’ happens.
WHY ARE WE RUNNING A MASTERMIND AT THE DAWN OF A NEW YEAR?
Every new year is a blank cheque. Life will give you what you write on it. Especially coming after a 2020 pandemic year, starting 2021 with a group of fellow keeners who want to grow, flourish and succeed is the best positive peer pressure you can give yourself. And again right at the start of the year because as an executive education company, YAW PERBI’s value proposition is exponential growth within the first 90 days of 2021 and successes before the year is over.
WHAT WILL A PERSON GET FROM JOINING?
For this particular January-February mastermind, we will be going through each of the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth and honestly responding to poignant questions that will catalyse our growth and set us up for success.
Each week we will pre-read two chapters of the book and meet every Sunday for 8 weeks to share stimulating insights, vulnerably ask questions and honestly respond, and carve out challenging assignments that will facilitate our exponential growth within the first 90 days of 2021 and success in 2020.
A SECRET SAUCE
Remember my first two questions at the beginning of this blog? First, What do you think you’re capable of accomplishing within the next 12 months? And then: What if I told you you could be more and do better than what you’re thinking through the sheer power a mastermind group? Either way, there’s a reason you are not there yet. In order to succeed, you will need to GROW! Then comes yet another question (questions are a coach’s best friend): Who are you going to travel with for inspiration, mutual encouragement and accountability to get there?
The secret to masterminds working is in the synergy it creates (as explained in the ‘mystery’ above), the loving accountability environment it creates (what you claim is your goal/outcome is taken seriously and you are lovingly held to account) and the Law of Modeling, which itself is the thirteenth law of growth we’ll be studying. The Law says: It’s Hard to Improve When you Have No One but Yourself to Follow. While all of this can happen in a one-on-one coaching relationship the amazing cross-coaching, multi-layered mentoring is phenomenal in a serious group of, say a dozen, people!
WHY ONLY 15 PEOPLE MAX?
So on January 3rd, join a mastermind group of 15 of us walk through ‘The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth’ together for the early 60 days in 2021. Our mission at YAW PERBI Executive Education is to offer authentic and customized relationships and resources for your growth, success and significance and that is a major reason why this is being tailored to only 15 executives.
HOW DO YOU JOIN?
Visit this link on this website to sign up or write to email@example.com TODAY. A 20% early bird discount applies from now till 30th December, 2020. I’m committed to your growth, success and significance. Are you? How do you intend to succeed without growing first?
“I FEEL STUCK.” This is such a common reason prospective coaching clients get in touch with me. And I know how that feels like; I’ve been stuck many times before in my personal life, marriage, parenting, vocation, finances, faith etc. But there is a way out.
I have been a disciple of Dr. John C. Maxwell for the last twenty years. I would emphatically say John Maxwell’s seminal work, The 21 Indisputable Laws of Leadership, sent me on a leadership trajectory that I am yet to recover from. The book came out in 1998, around the same time I was cutting my teeth in the leader formation industry. When John’s non-profit, EQUIP, came to train leaders in Ghana in 2004, I was still in medical school then but you can be sure I was in attendance with a group of my own mentees from The HuD Group. I longed for the day when I would meet him in person and get to work with him more directly.
The year after my family relocated to Canada, EQUIP, which had been doing some good work in other parts of Canada and was now trying to penetrate the province of Quebec came to my city, Montreal. Somehow we found each other. I was invited to dinner. I would thereafter travel down to EQUIP’s headquarters in Atlanta for further training and sign a partnership between The HuD Group and EQUIP to develop leaders in Canada, Ghana and around the world, certifying them as trained leaders. Even back then, in 2010, I had innovatively began to train emerging leaders in places like The Gambia, England and Australia from Canada online via Skype! In 2020, that has now become the norm; no longer the brilliant cutting edge exception. I soon would become a trainer for EQUIP Canada too.
All this while I was yet to meet John in person. That day finally came, one 2011 day in Pensacola, Florida, when I met John himself face-to-face. I was thrilled! Then in 2012 I grabbed one of my mentees working in bank in Atlanta, Georgia to join me to grace the occasion of the launching of John’s umpteenth book, “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.” We followed up with a private lunch during which I got to ask John a couple of things on my heart (that would be for another blog). The next year I was with John again, now three times in a row, this time undergoing the process to become a certified John Maxwell Coach, Speaker and Trainer.
THE 15 INVALUABLE LAWS OF GROWTH
I share the story of my 20-year walk with John, in literature and literally, first to demonstrate that mentorship works. I would not be where I am in life today, even being touted by a global organization like the Lausanne Movement as a “strategic global leader” but for my walk with Jesus and John. Secondly, while anyone can pick any book of John’s and walk other people through it, it is one thing going through the letter and another thing catching the spirit of John’s works. I’ve got certifiably got both.
For the last couple of months I have felt like some C-level leaders could really benefit from an authentic and deep walk through each of John’s 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth in the form of a Mastermind Group. Whether it’s leaders who feel STUCK or not-yet-stuck (it’s just a matter of time, the day will come!), anyone could use some new impetus for growth following a most crazy year of a COVID-19 pandemic.
FROM CATASTROPHIC TO CATALYTIC
I keep thinking of the phenomenal fresh growth that can happen in forests after they have been decimated by fire. Yes, fires can be destructive in rainforests but sometimes they actually help to replenish ecosystems! While this article won’t get into the depths of the ecological science of it, forest fires are a powerful analogy for the rejuvenation that can happen in each of our our lives after the ravaging of the coronavirus. I enjoyed a Deutsche Welle article that reminded be that “as devastating as forest fires are in the rainforest, the destructive power of fire is necessary for the preservation of other ecosystems, where parts of the natural fauna and flora develop only thanks to the fires. …They consume old and diseased trees, create new habitats and ensure an ecological rejuvenation of the tree population.”
In fact, many plants in the southern US, in the Mediterranean region or in Australia actually need fire to survive. For the coniferous Douglas fir, for example, it survives most fires thanks to its thick bark and then (here’s the magic), after a fire, it will sprout new shoots. The North American lodgepole pine also needs the heat of the fire to open its cones and release seeds while the Australian grass tree needs smoke to open its seed pods.
GROW LIKE CRAZY
So! I’m looking forward to walking with a select group of 15 growth mindset leaders through each of the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth for the first 8 weeks of the 2021 new year, DV. This 60-day journey will not only get you unstuck but put some fire in your bones for phenomenal growth. Let the unprecedented catastrophic 2020 year be your catalyst for unparalleled growth in 2021. Watch out for details. It’s about time you significantly invested in your personal growth and that of others!
When I was younger I was in a hurry to influence my world in two powerful ways: build leaders and create wealth. I’ve been working on both for the last two decades but now I’m going back to go forward. Here’s why. First, leaders.
WHO WE ARE FIRST
The year was 2003. I was still in medical school, in Accra, Ghana. After I cast vision to a group of eight others that would eventually become The HuD Group and go global, we hit the ground running. With all our Youth Power!, we were in such haste to “inspire and empower young people to discover their God-given purpose and reach their full potential” that we jumped some steps. I was barely 25. Of course, helping people find purpose is exciting, especially for emerging leaders, and everyone wants to have a raison d’être.
However, it wasn’t until my late thirties that it came to me in the strongest sense that something vital comes before purpose. Knowing who we are precedes knowing what we’re here for. Identity comes before purpose. In fact, until during my Master’s in Global Leadership (2016-2019), I wasn’t yet fully convinced that who we are is more important than what we do. But it is! Oh yes, who we are is more important than what we do, not just because we are human beings and not human doings (as is popularly said, tongue-in-cheek, these days) but significantly because who we are really determines what we do and how we do it!
A lot of water has gone under the bridge since those heady days at the dawn of this new millennium and the group has seen many successes, including expanding to two dozen countries on every inhabitable continent in the world! Yet at the same time, we’ve also experienced once-promising trained leaders (in vision, mission, values, strategy and leadership skills) mess up big time because they weren’t self-aware first: of their life narrative, personality, temperament, history/heritage, genogram, values, core beliefs & worldview, emotions (moods, passions etc.), shadows (‘false self’), giftedness, strengths & weaknesses, biases & blindspots, leadership & communication styles, preferences, motivations (extrinsic and intrinsic), habits & tendencies, limits/boundaries, their physicality etc. If you think this is a long list, you’re right. There is a lot of self-awareness, self compassion, self acceptance and self self to be done to not just self actualize but to lead others in a meaningful way.
A FRIEND TO THE RESCUE
My friend Carson Pue and I live on opposite sides of the second largest country on earth (Canada) but one thing often brings us together, in-person or online: leader development. When I came across his ‘Mentorship Matrix’ (diagram above) in his book Mentoring Leaders, I clearly saw pictorially where and how we had tripped. We were in a hurry to get to Step #3 (visioneering/discovering purpose) and hadn’t been spending enough time in Step #1 (self-discovery). And for Pue, as a faith-based leadership trainer, Step #1 consists of double knowledge of both self-discovery and God discovery. There actually is a lot that has been said and written on how we cannot know ourselves without knowing God (the creator in whose image we’ve been made) and vice versa. See here for more.
If we had spent enough time delving into what should be first and core, it would naturally reveal what should happen in Step #2, the emotional and other needs that need to be then satisfied (and how), as well as things one needs to be set free from before attempting to reach forward with discovering purpose and running with it.
I am not alone in this discovery. Increasingly in leadership development world there is this growing area addressing the psychodynamics of leadership, as we are more and more finding the best Ivy-league trained leaders in the top Fortune 500 spaces in the world doing really stupid stuff out of the blue! No one is above Steps #1 & 2. And if we don’t make the time to dig out and cement those foundations well, we are bound to produce shooting stars and not sustainable leadership for the long haul.
GOING BACK TO GO FORWARD
Now we’re back on the drawing board and relaying foundations to ensure that we start right and end well, beginning from the core of self-awareness and the dealing with anything that will entangle, choke or derail the leadership course further down the road. In my Twi language from Ghana there is a word and concept known as “Sankofa.” It literally translates as “go back and get it” and is symbolized by either a stylized heart shape or by a bird with its head turned backwards while its feet face forward carrying a precious egg in its mouth. My leadership development legs may have false-started from Step #3 with fleet feet facing forward but now my neck is turned with my head reaching back to Steps #1 and #2 to pick up that which was vital but I left behind. My ancestral language has a saying, that when you go back to pick up something valuable that you inadvertently left behind, it is no wrong, and well within reason and one’s rights. That is one of two things I build differently now.
What if we took our families as seriously as we take our corporate work, beginning with crafting solid family vision and mission statements and clearly outlining our family values?
When I was still in my late teens and learnt about mission statements from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People I was über excited! I was an eager beaver, wanting to learn more and actually crafting one for myself. In addition, I was eager to teach everybody who would listen to craft one too. In fact, a large part of why and how The HuD Group was born was because we wanted to inspire and empower young people to discover their God-given purpose and reach their full potential using tools like personal mission statements. Then I tried to convince my parents to work with my siblings and me to create one for our family. Let’s just say, I did not succeed.
Most of us work in places that have vision and mission statements and a slew of values. Those of us who are C-level leaders are responsible for recasting vision constantly, clearly and creatively as well as rehashing our mission and values. I would surmise the majority of us take this sacred duty of leadership very seriously. How come we don’t do same for our families? Most smart, skillful and dedicated professionals I know have no family vision and mission statements and haven’t bothered to distill the family’s values, let alone clearly state these and have them written down.
Yet as already asserted in a previous article, vision, mission and values are the DNA of both individuals and organizations as they are really of life-giving, life-forming and life-replicating essence. So it is with families. While every family has its physical DNA passed down from ancestors, how about the important metaphysical DNA represented by our families’ vision, mission and values?
Today, I wish to share with you my own nuclear family’s vision and mission statement for our home. We have a broader vision and mission that encompass not only our home but also all the corporate and charity ventures we’re involved in but what I’m sharing here is specific to our home.
VISION FOR THE PERBI HOME
An INCUBATOR for hatching godly, effectual leaders for the mission of God.
MISSION STATEMENT OF THE PERBI HOME
Ours is a family in which God delights because God is the centre of all activities in this household. Every ordinary activity becomes worship by practising God’s presence.
We are first and foremost Christians thus sharing fellowship and building each other up by lifestyle is a matter of course, and if necessary doing so with words. The flame on our Family Altar shall always burn brightly.
In our household, Jesus Christ is the standard of behaviour. This is the Potter’s house, where God by His Spirit moulds members and guests alike to conform to the image of Christ in attitude, thought, word and deed. The Word of God is our family constitution.
Ours is a neat, comfortable, cosy, Spirit-filled home; an inspiring environment which is as stimulating as is peaceful, is grace-filled, God-honouring, purpose-driven, paradigm-shifting, principle-centred, and character-based. Any entertainment must be wholesome, building & beneficial.
The Perbis’ is a home full of warm, smiling, serviceable and humble people who will at all times be of use to each other and to all of God’s people in a holistic manner.
This is a missionary family—living missionally, raising, receiving, sending and supporting carriers of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
That it will always be said of our home, our legacy, all to the glory of God: the standard of a Christian marriage, the epitome of a true Christian family.
At the start of each week, as we round up our weekly sabbath, we remind ourselves of our vision and mission statement. Even our three-year old knows what our vision is. She can shout “incubator!” Not only are our values embedded in our family mission statement, the children find the English version of their names in there as well.
This is holy work and I insist that every coaching client of mine works with their spouse and children (if they’re grown enough to contribute) to work on crafting solid family vision and mission statements and clearly outlining their family values. And of course, a key thing is to ensure that their personal and family values align with who they’re working for/with in the corporate world. No DNA, no life. Good DNA, good life. Bad DNA, bad news. Let’s take our families as seriously, nay, even more seriously than we do our workplaces. After all, companies come and go but family is forever.
“Your journey to leadership is likely to take many unexpected turns. Life is full of challenging situations, including ethical dilemmas, midcourse career changes or burnout, seemingly intractable interpersonal challenges, marriage and family issues, failures, and loneliness. At times, you may feel you are losing your way or have gotten off course from your True North. Getting back on track alone is very difficult, perhaps even impossible” (Bill George). That’s why you need a coach.
If you’ve followed me on social media over the last few days you should’ve noticed a couple of posts about my excitement to train a group of Medical Superintendents in Ghana on Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Of course everybody needs (EQ) but one reason doctors in particular do is that they tend to think because they are smart and got into med school they would be successful in life and leadership. To our rude shock (and I say ‘our’ because I am a doctor myself), after a certain threshold, intelligence (IQ) doesn’t matter anymore, and what gives the winning edge to succeed is all EQ.
NO ONE CAN HELP THEMSELVES WITHOUT BEING HELPED
After an hour of training on what EQ is, five reasons why it’s key and how to acquire it, I left them with Boyatzis’s theory of self-directed learning. I first encountered this during my read of Primal Leadership, a book he co-authored with the chap who most popularized EQ from 1995 till date, Daniel Goleman. Boyatzis’s map (see below) begins with a hopeful “Who do I want to be?”, a picture of your ideal self. This existential question is at the very apex of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (if you remember); it is a question of self-actualization. But the next question, which in my opinion really should be the first, is ‘Who am I?’, your real self.
Integrating those two questions reveals one’s strengths (where your ideal and real self overlap) and your gaps (where your ideal and real self differ). Your learning agenda or growth plan, therefore, basically involves building on your strengths while reducing your gaps. And so you begin: experimenting with new thoughts (head), feelings (heart) and behaviours (hands). Practicing your new behaviours actually results in building new neural pathways to success/mastery.
But here is the kicker: Central to all of these points, steps, and pathways is “DEVELOPING TRUSTING RELATIONSHIPS that help, support and encourage each step in the process.” Again, that’s where a professional coach comes in. Even in this so-called ‘self-directed’ learning, no man is an island and needs the vital trusted relationships to make their growth and goals happen.
Do you have someone that will tell you the truth and to whom you can tell the truth? Do you have the authentic relationships and customized resources to clarify your beliefs and values and understand vital personal and professional issues and receive honest feedback when you need it most?
A coach’s responsibility is to provide content, insight, tools, wisdom, framework, ideas, and feedback. YOUR responsibility is to move from awareness to action and accountability. Our coaching provides many structures for you to meet your individual and organizational goals.
For John Maxwell certified coaches like myself, whether it’s one-on-one executive coaching or one-on-few, we like to say that the objectives of coaching include, but are not limited to:
- Discovery of personal identity, emotional needs, purpose (vision & mission) and values
- Crafting of personal, professional and corporate Growth Plan
- Adding an objective and supportive third party to your leadership team
- Increasing accountability of your personal and professional goals
- Improving specific skills related to your role. Such as managerial skills, communication, conflict resolution, time management, productivity, and effectiveness
- Sharing best practices from other organizations that have done similar work
- Reviewing strategic business decisions related to operations, customer service, marketing, financials, and more
- Being a sounding board
- Preventing problems, thereby avoiding expensive, time consuming or embarrassing actions
- Supporting your growth past your limiting beliefs
- Conflict resolution
- Creating a team atmosphere
- Relationship development for success and significance.
COACHING OPTIONS (FOR C-LEVEL EXECUTIVES, OWNERS & GENERAL MANAGERS)
Coaching Categories: Depending on your goals and budget, at YAW PERBI we offer Green, Blue and Gold level coaching. Currently only Gold services are available, and they are limited.
Time & Place: All coaching programs require a minimum time investment of 6-12 months. Coaching is a marathon, rather than a sprint! Depending on whether Green, Blue or Gold level, the coaching package includes 2, 3 or 4 sessions a month lasting approximately 60-90 minutes. Sessions can be at your office, my place of business, or a mutually agreed upon location. In these days of COVID-19, online coaching is our mainstay via Zoom. Phone coaching is also an option but I prefer to see the individual to observe body language and such.
Special arrangements: Sometimes included in a gold package is two full days of shadowing, facilitation of a two meetings of your choice (up to 2 hours each), and unlimited phone calls and emails in between sessions. In addition, you or any of your employees will benefit from a 25% discount for any company training/workshops.
Other coaching services: Group Coaching, Sales Coaching, Couples Coaching, Business Partner Coaching, Youth Coaching, Relationship Coaching, Genogram Coaching and more (they include these but not limited to them).
Payment arrangements: These are to be made before services are provided, and as agreed upon via this website, mobile money, PayPal, cheques or bank transfers.
Miscellaneous: We will always be punctual. If you need to reschedule, 24 hours advance notice is required or one-half of the coaching session is lost. If for some reason I need to reschedule and do not do so with a 24-hour notice, you will be credited with an additional one-half coaching session, at no additional charge. Our coaching relationship is completely confidential. We will never share your identity or any information about you with any other person or organization without your expressed consent. In the unlikely event that there are concerns that need to be referred to another professional, I may be able to make that suggestion to you.
Completing our coaching relationship is a mutual decision. While my retention percentage is very high, there may come a time when you determine that it is time to complete our coaching relationship. If and when that time comes, I expect that the coachee will give me at least four weeks’ notice. That will give us time to summarize your growth/learning and strategize your next steps.
Our services are unconditionally guaranteed. If at any time you feel that you are not getting the support, honesty, coaching, or training that you expect, then you need to tell me.
If you are serious about growth, success and significance you need a coach. The proof of your commitment is your investment of quality time, best effort and substantial money. Even as a coach, I also have a paid coach. Everybody needs somebody to coach them. So! Make arrangements here and now for a 30-minute exploratory call to see if we would be a good match.
There is no significant high performer I know who doesn’t have a coach, from entertainment and sports to business. Some have even more than one. How about you?
It was just a one-hour call with a coach. Let’s call him Joe. It changed the trajectory of my life. It wasn’t at a corner office in downtown Montreal or in one of the new plush buildings decorating the Accra skyline. It was at home, just at home; over Zoom. But utilizing the major tool coaches employ–questions, questions and more questions–the lightbulb suddenly came on and within 24 hours I had the oomph to re-start passive income generating projects I had kept procrastinating for a decade! How much that call with Joe cost me in dollars cannot be compared with the kind of lifetime value I gained and lifelong income stream I am cued to earn. I love the CLARITY coaches help bring to our thinking.
SO WHAT IS COACHING?
One of the most (ab)used words in our time is ‘mentor’ or ‘mentoring’ (or ‘mentorship’). I’ve heard and read people actually say coaching and mentoring are two different things. But no, mentoring is a term for the broader framework of empowering relationships every successful person needs (see diagram above) and coaching is a form of mentoring.
According to one of my leadership professors (during my Master of Arts in Global Leadership), mentoring is “a relational process in which a mentor, who knows or has experienced something, transfers that something (resources of wisdom, information, experience, confidence, insight, relationships, status etc.) to a mentoree, at an appropriate time and manner, so that it facilitates development or empowerment” (Clinton & Stanley 1992, 40). Mentoring is relationship, relationship, relationship. A relational experience, relational process, relational exchange.
Coaching, therefore (I repeat), is a form of mentoring, as is each of the other eight types of mentoring shown in the Clinton Continuum diagram above.
WHAT MAKES COACHING DIFFERENT?
First of all, you will notice that coaching is classified among the first third of relationships under ‘INTENSIVE’, unlike counselor, teacher and sponsor (grouped in the middle third) which are OCCASIONAL experiences. For example, as a coach, I recommend at least twice a month meetings with my coachees; sometimes even weekly (depending on their situation, needs and goals) for a minimum of six months. The ideal is a contact every 10 days especially so that no balls are dropped inadvertently.
While the scope of this write-up is not to describe every one of the nine mentoring relationships but to highlight coaching in particular, let me briefly say that a discipler is someone who enables another in the basics of following a religion (especially Christianity), a spiritual guide provides accountability, direction and insight for questions and decisions affecting spirituality and maturity. A coach provides motivation, clarity, challenge, accountability, skills and application needed to meet a goal. Clinton would argue that “the coach’s central thrust is to provide motivation and impart skills and application to meet a task or challenge” (73). Coaching, he would say, “is a process of imparting encouragement and skills to succeed in a task through a relationship” (76).
Coaching is an on-going conversation where I (as your coach) provide encouragement, guidance and honest feedback, as YOU pursue YOUR personal and professional goals. I fully expect you to grow yourself and your family/business/organization and succeed in life, by attaining your goals!
There is no significant high performer I know who doesn’t have a coach, from entertainment and sports to business. Without a coach, it is hard for anyone to experience high performance on their own, let alone to achieve what has come to be known as meta performance. In today’s competitive environment, some of the most successful business leaders have experienced tremendous benefits from coaching. Results have included increased revenue and productivity, career advancement, higher employee retention, and the development of more effective business strategies. YOU will define the agenda. YOUR results will vary depending on how long we work together and what actions YOU take.
As a John C. Maxwell trained and certified coach, my clients are expected to, and have experienced, measurable return on investment, increased productivity, and up to 200% revenue growth.
IT WORKS! LET ME HELP YOU.
If I didn’t believe this stuff, I wouldn’t be promoting it. The proof of our belief in anything is our investment of time and money in it. I personally have my own coach who I pay hundred of dollars to for three sessions monthly. At YAW PERBI, our value proposition is authentically empowering C-level executives for exponential growth in 90 days, success within a year and significance for a lifetime (and beyond). Try me. Try us.
We are human, thus limited, and cannot help everybody. Currently I personally have only 10 places each year for authentic, high quality and deep relationship one-on-one coaching so I have had to make the hard decision to focus mainly on C-level executives. The wisdom in that is, as my mentor John Maxwell says about what he calls “the Law of the Lid,” when they get better (raise their lids), everyone else else under them gets better. Knowing how key coaching is, however, no one will ever be turned away. I would be more than happy to refer you to others within my very rich coaching network. Everyone deserves a competent and caring coach.
Apart from one-on-ones, there are times I do one-on-few coaching for a group of executives. My favourite is helping executives work through company DNA (vision, mission & values)! I share about that in a later blog here.
If you’re ready to grow, succeed and be significant, take my hand and let me help you. Let me be your coach.
Clinton, J. Robert and Paul D Stanley. 1992. Connecting: the mentoring relationships you need to succeed in life. Colorado Springs: NavPress.